Askreddit Tried Again With an Ex

March 23, 2022 Post a Comment

Let'due south confront it: Not everyone ends upwardly with a partner who truly feels like "the one." In fact, many people settle for someone who simply treats them well, even if the love they share is underwhelming — or absent entirely. And now, people who experience like their partner isn't "the one" are sharing their stories in a viral thread.

an unhappy woman looking away from her partner in bed

It all started when Reddit user u/violetshug posed a question to the internet: "Women who settled for someone who you knew wasn't the one, simply was otherwise a good person, how is it going?"

a couple leaning their heads on each other staring at the ocean

Hither are some of the elevation-voted responses from users:

ane. "It'due south sad and boring, just safe. I do miss 'the one' sometimes, merely nosotros're simply friends and we could never exist more than that. It's either this or total solitude, so at least I have companionship, sex, and someone who truly loves me. Of course I would requite my right arm to take my true love, but here nosotros are."

2. "Married for five years, together for 16 years. It isn't always piece of cake. Nosotros're in a rough spot and it'south easy after every result to retrieve, 'I knew I never should have stayed with him.' Sometimes I wonder if I'thousand being a coward... My husband adores me and is a practiced man simply does not fulfill me intellectually, is emotionally young, and nosotros are on different planets of sexual desire. It's a struggle only information technology'due south not a nightmare."

—HeathrBee

three. "My husband now is proficient. He's a fine person, a strong provider, he makes me laugh, the sex is satisfying. We can talk to each other hands. It'due south just not the 'IN LOVE' experience that everyone says they desire. Don't become me wrong: There is dearest. But the romance/Prince Mannerly/ride-or-die thing is non there. I'chiliad in this for the long booty. So is my husband."

—Babaloo_Monkey

4. "It's going adequately well — ups and downs for six years now. He works long hours and I honey spending time on my own! It's harder when nosotros have his kids, as I take no desire to exist a female parent, only I'm better at organizing than him, and so I take on a child minder role anyhow. Hoping for the world to open up soon, every bit 1 of the things we savour is a romantic getaway. I love him, but I'm not in love with him."

5. "It's going decently well. We have some communication issues to work on (likewise as emotional maturity on my partner's side), just otherwise it's functional and I'g mostly happy."

—GoddessofPlants

6. "I was convinced 'the one' was going to give me butterflies and be overwhelmed past my presence. When I met my current partner, none of those things were truthful. I kept questioning it, being like, 'Something's wrong. I don't know if he's the one.' We've been together for a while and I'm glad I didn't listen to those shreds of incertitude. Butterflies are overrated. My partner shows up for me every day, and nosotros accept congenital a really potent and solid foundation."

—killerwheelie

7. "Married for 28 years! We have had our ups and downs, but to be honest, he was the ane — I just didn't know it at the fourth dimension. Sometimes 'the ane' is an ideal based on youthful priorities, simply with maturity, you realize some of those qualities aren't equally important anymore... I might add too, that I ran into 'the one' again a few years back. Was non impressed, and I call back I fabricated a good escape at that place!"

viii. "20 years of marriage and three kids later, nosotros are very good partners and make a great team. However, I am somewhat sorry about how lilliputian we accept in common exterior of that."

—gurlybrans

ix. "It has gotten better with work. He's a good man and I dearest him, but I never vicious in honey with him. At the time nosotros met I didn't want or need that. I needed safety and stability. Now that we've settled into life together, I've embraced those traits he brings, and when I get the urge for something more exciting, I discover it in other means."

—HaneTheHornist

10. "It's going. I know it's non right, but he is a skillful person. Sometimes I want then much more. Right now, it would cost me and then much to get out, and I do have love for him. Our children take a great back up system betwixt us, and we alive a decent life."

a couple looking away from each other in bed

11. "I didn't know he wasn't right until our first statement subsequently getting married. I was convinced at that bespeak that we would get divorced i solar day. I'1000 still pretty sure it will happen eventually. Nosotros have been married for seven years and have three kids. Nosotros proceed our finances dissever. I have protected myself in case of a divorce. We are great friends and he is a good dad."

—farmher21

xiii. "I love my significant other and I know he loves me but nosotros clash and see life in two dissimilar ways. He is more downward to globe and keeps to himself while I am more likely to be caught in a spontaneous take chances. We do go well together and coexist well. Sex is far and far between but I have adapted to that. Nosotros do evidence each other random appreciation, and obviously celebrate birthdays and milestones together. Sometimes we seem more like roommates than lovers — just information technology isn't a bad matter. Being friends with your significant other instead of romantic isn't the worst thing on the earth, is information technology?

—idk_about_this_J

14. "My partner and I are doing alright. Nosotros communicate well enough and we support each other well. Is he 'the i'? I don't think so. I don't feel a passionate love between us and I'thou not super sexually attracted to him (even though he is conventionally good looking). We accept been together for 4 years on and off. We alive together. But if he asked me to marry him, I would say no. That's usually a expert way to decide whether y'all're 'meant to be.'"

fifteen. "Pretty good. Information technology wasn't really a honeymoon at the offset but we take now been together for five years and are very happy."

—Snoo_85580

xvi. "It'due south only going well considering I'thou no longer alone, but goddamn I really made a sacrifice..."

—Angelictitties

17. "I chose my husband considering he meets a lot of my needs, and I beloved him for that and for who he is. He'southward non a GQ model, he'due south not rich, and yeah, sometimes he bugs the crap out of me. Just I chose him. And I chose to beloved him for who he is rather than concur out for the idea of 'the one.'"

And finally...

18. "Will be six years together in a few months. He is the kindest person I know and he has e'er treated me with nothing only respect. He is the definition of a good man. And — I can't explain how I know this — but from the depths of my heart I just know that he will never, ever hurt me. And safe is what I demand to experience."

Y'all can read the full thread of responses on Reddit.

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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Source: https://www.buzzfeed.com/stephenlaconte/settling-for-partner-who-isnt-the-one-reddit

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